Kill Your Self (not ‘yourself’, but your ‘self’)

Ephesians 5:25

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her . . . “

The following quote from C.S. Lewis is one of the most poignant thoughts that I have read or heard on this particular passage.  And as this is one of the foundational verses for a husband’s relationship with his wife, it bears re-reading, studying and much meditating.

In The Four Loves C.S. Lewis said,

“The husband is the head of the wife just in so far as he is to her what Christ is to the Church. He is to love her as Christ loved the church—read on—and gave his life for her (Ephesians 5:25).  This headship, then, is most fully embodied not in the husband we should all wish to be but in him whose marriage is most like a crucifixion; whose wife receives most and gives least”

“Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. ”

(Philippians 2:5-8 ESV)

Published in: on 27 September 2010 at 08:08  Leave a Comment  
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Money, Money, Money

We all have, need and use money.  The question is, “Are you and your spouse on the same page regarding the money you have, need and use?”  Take time this week to discuss your finances with your wife. If you do not operate your household from a budget, now would be a good time to start.  If you are not sure how to set up a budget, you can contact me for a sample or go to Crown Financial Ministries or Dave Ramsey.  The point is that you and your spouse have to have one mind on this matter.  This means that every dollar is accounted for and both of you know where it is being spent.  If you do not live this way with your wife, it needs to change.  Start this week to make that change.

Published in: on 20 September 2010 at 07:25  Leave a Comment  
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Snuggle Up!

It’s football season!  That means there will be plenty of opportunities to set yourself aside in the coming months.  But here’s a thought that you can incorporate into the game.  Get her to watch the game with you.  For some of us, that will not take a big effort – our wives enjoy football.  (For those men who don’t really care about the game, substitute an appropriate event.)  But make the time together something more than just yelling at the TV.  While you are watching the game (or whatever), snuggle with her, rub her feet or engage her during the commercials.  Football season tends to put many husbands into a strangely active coma where all but ‘the game’ is blocked out for four hours every Sat/Sun.  Purpose to engage your wife while sharing your passion of the game with her.  This means you will have to understand your wife enough to know how to effectively do that.

Published in: on 13 September 2010 at 08:46  Leave a Comment  

Give It Up!

How important is your schedule to you?  Most of us have some sort of idea what our day or week is supposed to look like.  And most of us do not like it when things do not go as we planned.  I would suggest that our frustration over an unmet schedule is rooted in selfishness – which is the opposite of how our lives as husbands should be characterized.

Purposely set aside plans that you have for yourself this week and meet a desire of our wife.  Whether it is working in the yard when you would rather watch football or praying together when you would rather be sleeping, set yourself aside and pursue your wife’s heart through a selfless prioritizing her desires.

Published in: on 7 September 2010 at 08:02  Leave a Comment  
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