Happy Christmas and a Merry New Year!

Make some resolutions that will help you LHWYCO.  Then sit down with your wife and set some goals for the coming year.  Talk about a game plan to make the resolutions practical and workable.  Set quarterly dates now to evaluate progress throughout the year.  This is a good exercise in leadership and it shows that you have interest in bettering your relationship.

Published in: on 27 December 2010 at 09:36  Leave a Comment  
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Yes, this is just how we are sometimes . . .

This pretty much speaks for itself.

Published in: on 22 December 2010 at 14:56  Leave a Comment  

Pick a night – any night.

Christmas time can be one of the busiest (and sweetest) times of the year.  But it can also take a huge toll on our wives.  As much as we do as husbands, most of our wives are doing twice as much.  So pick night this week to give your wife something special as a thanks for all of her work. It could be an early gift, a night off from cooking and cleaning or maybe even a ‘prayer massage’ (that’s a massage in which you not only rub her down, but pray over her while you are doing it.)  As always, dip into your vast knowledge of what makes your wife tick and give her an evening of solace in the midst of this too-often hectic season.

Published in: on 20 December 2010 at 08:52  Leave a Comment  
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Take No Prisoners!

I know the picture is small, but I forgot to snap a photo before I disassembled the puzzle!  We finished this one two nights ago.  It glows in the dark and the kids just had to get out of bed around 9:30pm to see it glow!  I think we will start one with a more feminine theme next.

Published in: on 14 December 2010 at 15:54  Leave a Comment  
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Will it improve my sex life?

That’s the question that sometimes runs through my mind when I’m working on loving my wife with my clothes on.  It’s hard to get away from thinking that if I love my wife like I should, she will do the same.  A mind bent on reciprocity can destroy a marriage.   But that kind of falls into the James 4 problem where men were sinning to get what they wanted instead of asking God for it.  And when they did ask God, they still didn’t get what they wanted because their hearts were all wrong – it was all for themselves.  Where is all of this going?  We have to do what is right in loving our wives regardless of anything else.  So will this week’s task improve your sex life?  I don’t know, but I do know you should be doing it.  Pray with your wife everyday this week. There is no guarantee that your sex life will change, but your life will.

Published in: on 13 December 2010 at 09:49  Leave a Comment  
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Lead Me by Sanctus Real

If you have not heard this song, give it a prayerful listen.

Published in: on 7 December 2010 at 17:47  Leave a Comment  
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I Do. (or at least I did.)

I really don’t like weddings.  In fact, I have only been to one wedding since my own and that was just a few weeks ago.  A close friend of mine was giving his only daughter away and I wanted to see it.  He also gave the charge.  As he challenged his daughter and soon-to-be-son, I found myself thinking about how well (or poorly) I have kept my own vows and lived up to the charge given to me and my bride.  Read through my friend’s charge and then take a night this week to watch your wedding video with your wife.  If you don’t have a video of it, look over some pictures and relive it together.  And then take some time to pray for a renewed and continued commitment to each other.  In the least, be challenged by my friend’s challenge to his own daughter and future husband:

This is your wedding day.  It’s just a day! Special?  Yes!  But still it is just one day – a beginning.  What lies ahead is your marriage – and that will be a lifetime.

Both of you have placed your faith in Christ.  You are confidently relying upon Him alone for your eternal destiny and security.  The Gospel has broken into your lives and there is the evidence of God’s Spirit working within you as you both continue to grow in grace and in your love for Christ.

You have trusted the truth of the Gospel to save you.  However, as you have heard said repeatedly by me and many others, the Gospel is not just for salvation – it affects every aspect of your life as you grow in your relationship with Christ.  And the Gospel is foundational to the success of your marriage.  The Gospel is God’s power for salvation.  But it is also His power for life.  And it is the power you need for a marriage that will honor Him and display His character.

If your marriage is going to thrive – if it is going to bring to you the kind of satisfaction and joy that you are anticipating, then it must be grounded in Gospel Truth.

Both of you are sinners – redeemed – yes, but still sinners.  Trust me — There will be a multitude of opportunities for each of you to extend to the other the same grace and mercy that God has lavished upon you in Christ.  None of us deserve this forgiveness. We can’t earn it.  We can’t be good enough to deserve it.  But God’s divine plan motivated Him to pour out His just and furious wrath for our sin upon Jesus.  And Jesus willingly bore that wrath for us so that we might have this wonderful gift that we call salvation. – what grace – what mercy – unmerited – underserved – immeasurable.  It is indeed in every sense of the word —  amazing!

Throughout the rest of your lives together, there will be times when you sin against each other – sometimes in small ways – sometimes in great ways. At that those times, remember God’s mercy to you. Remember what Jesus suffered in order to provide you with the forgiveness and righteous standing before God that you now freely enjoy.

Both of you need to be quick to seek forgiveness from the other.  And you need to be just as quick to distribute that same grace and mercy to each other as well.  Because that is what God has done, and continues to do, for you both for the sake of Christ.

The only way that you will find fulfillment and joy in your marriage is as you first find your fulfillment and joy in Christ.  Christ must be your all in all.

I have often told you, and I tell you again today before these witnesses – if each of you expects the other to make you happy and complete, then you are placing a burden on each other that neither of you can bear.  And such misplaced demands will only lead to frustration and disappointment.

You must find your contentment first and only in Christ.  Then, as you both are finding your delight in Him, you will find great fulfillment in this beautiful picture of Christ’s love for His people that we call – marriage.

Please know that we love you both deeply, and we pray that the truth of The Gospel will be reflected in your relationship with each other for rest of your lives.

Pass the hankie.

Published in: on 6 December 2010 at 08:45  Leave a Comment  
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